His plans higher than mine

I have always seen and heard the saying “If you want to make God laugh then just tell Him your plans”. Well I guess He has been laughing at me for at least a year now.

Last fall, I began working in the department of my major, middle grades education. Through this experience, I was able work closely with the department chair. I had shared with her about my future hopes and plans for teaching once I graduated. What I really wanted most was to be able to move back to my home town and teach. One day, she mentioned to me the possibility of student teaching in my home town. I was beyond excited because I knew this is what I had been hoping for since I started college. I know, not every college student hopes to move back home for their last semester of college; however, this would mean I would be able to make connections and network in the school system, which would hopefully make my job search a little easier. It may have also crossed my mind a time or two that I would be living only 5 minutes away from my boyfriend instead of an hour.

Everything seemed to be falling into place. By the time spring semester was coming to an end, I had the whole next year of my life planned out, if not more than that really. I was going to work at my church over the summer, move to Kennesaw with my brother for the fall semester, move home to student teach, then I would get a job and start teaching in the fall. A perfect plan. I really thought that God and I were on the same page too. I mean it seemed flawless and everything was working out so well. Ryan (my brother) would be graduating in the fall, so we both only needed a 6 month lease in Kennesaw; I got special permission to pursue student teaching in my home town; I would be close to my friends and family. What more did I need? Well it turns out God and I were on the same page, but He saw a lot further than I could. What I saw was just a small piece to the puzzle while He could see the whole picture.

As fall semester began, I walked into my first student teaching meeting with my plan perfectly laid out in my head. I even double checked with my adviser and field experience coordinator to make sure that I would still be able to student teach at home. The lights were all green. I was getting so excited and was ready for December already. However, at that meeting, a thought was planted in my mind. The topic of student teaching abroad was brought up and talked about for a good bit. One of the possible countries was Costa Rica. I thought, “Oh, cool. I had some friends go there,” but the thought pretty much stopped there. Some pretty enticing benefits of the experience were explained including being globally certified to teach. Here is what was going on inside of my head:

“Oh that sounds cool….but that’s not for me. I have my plan. I have been out of the country before. I have that global experience. Lalalalalala, I am going home soon!!”

So I left the meeting, my plan still stubbornly planted in my head, excited for the upcoming semester. However, that thought that was planted at the meeting didn't just go away as I planned. Yeah, that thought I pushed out of my mind because it wasn't for me – well God started trying to convince me otherwise. I could not get it out of my mind and it started tugging on my heart. I decided to mention it to Bryson just to see what he would say, secretly hoping he would hate the idea. I should have known, him being so supportive and all, that he would tell me to go if I felt led to go.

 I went home that weekend and was hoping to just forget about the whole thing. I wanted to be home next semester and I wasn't ready to let that change. I did a pretty good job at that until Sunday night. At church, the series our college ministry was in at the time was about living a missional lifestyle. They were talking about how to live on mission for Christ every day no matter where we are; for most of the students there, that meant on their college campus. I kept trying to convince myself that was what God was trying to tell me as well, but I knew deep inside it was something more than that. I still continued to attempt to push it out of my mind, scared of what it would mean if I gave in. That night before I drove back to Kennesaw, I had a little melt down after Bryson noticed I was being extra quiet. I told him I felt like I was being called to student teach abroad in Costa Rica, but I really didn't want to. I was trying so hard to convince myself that I was wrong. Well God didn't leave me much room to doubt. Driving back that night, as soon as I got on the interstate, a song that I hadn't ever heard before came on the radio and it gave me chills. It was Oceans by Hillsong United. The whole song was exactly what I needed to hear but one part in particular stuck out to me (I don’t know if it was because it repeats it at least ten times or just because of the words – probably a little of both):

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

At this point, I am in tears (which shouldn't be too surprising to those who know me). It was pretty clear to me what I was supposed to do; I just needed to trust God in the process. So for the next week I started pursuing the opportunity a little bit; but I was by no means fully committed. I went to a meeting, turned in my interest form, talked to a few professors about it…but that’s about as far as it went. Every time I talked about next semester, I would say something like, “Well IF I go…” (emphasis on the IF), still trying to convince myself I wasn't going. At some point, I just decided to stop talking about it and stop thinking about it. I thought that if I did this, the deadline would come and go and I wouldn't have to worry about it. I wanted to be home and that was that.

The funny thing about that is if it’s the Lord’s Will, He won’t let you forget about it.

For the next couple weeks, I couldn't get it out of my mind or off of my heart; but what I could do was just ignore it. Yeah, I was pretty stubborn about it. A few weeks went by and I knew the deadline was right around the corner. [Literally, it was Saturday and the deadline was Wednesday]. So I decided that Saturday night that I should give it one last thought before it was too late; not really because I wanted to, but more of a courtesy thought. That night, before I went to bed, I prayed and asked God to just show me His Will and leave no doubt in my mind. I needed a BIG sign that I couldn't deny if that was the path that He really wanted me to take.

I got what I asked for.

The next morning in Sunday school (or small group or whatever they call it these days), I noticed a man that I had never seen before. I didn't really question it much because it wasn't my home church so I don’t know everyone anyways. During our large group discussions though, it was mentioned that he lives in Central America as a missionary and was just here for a few weeks. I immediately thought, “Okay Lord, I see what you’re up to now.” After we were dismissed, I wanted to just sit quietly and wait for my brother to head down to the service (or big church as I still like to call it). Next thing I know, that man started talking to me and asking about school. So my response: “I’m at Kennesaw State. WHERE do you live?” His reply: “Costa Rica!” I know he said a lot more than that, but I was too focused on those first two words to listen to anything else. I then mentioned that I was thinking about student teaching down there next semester (notice the wording – “thinking”). Well he kind of lit up at that comment and shared how he knew another girl who did that and she actually stayed with him and his wife for a short period. He immediately got out his phone to give me her number so I could contact her about it.

“Okay Lord. I get it. Here’s my sign. I trust you.”

So after all of that, I can now say that I will be moving to Costa Rica in January for my last semester of college. I wish I could say that I was obedient the first time God laid it on my heart, but clearly I wasn’t. The one thing I learned through it all though is how incredibly PATIENT He is with me. He could have easily given up the first time I pushed it away, but that’s just one of the awesome things about our God; HE NEVER GIVES UP ON US!! I don’t know what God has planned for me down there, but after that much patience and persistence, I know it must be something big.

Please prayerfully consider supporting me through this journey. If you feel led to financially support me, click the “Fund Me!” tab at the top of this page. All donations, no matter the size, will be greatly appreciated. Above all, prayer is the most important thing!

With love,

Lauren